These days I spend my time pondering the differences in ” showing love”, from men and women. Myself as a woman my mission is to please my man. I cook,I clean, I do the laundry ,I try to nurture , and I am vocal and also physical. From my experience men show they love to a woman by” taking care of her”. Paying the bills, fixing the toilet, asking if she needs anything from the store, and every once in a while if it’s a good stress free day you get that amazing smile. It’s that smile that makes everything else worth it. The thankless hours of hoping things are enough in the house. The hours of wondering whom he may be talking to that makes him see me so little and incompetent. These are the things that go through my mind, hoping things aren’t as bad as a crazy lonely mind makes them out to be. Due to loving him I put it on the back burner and enjoy the smile when I get it and when I don’t,I long for it or the touch of his hand. So where is the bridge between men vrs women?
Does anyone else get that feeling,”the feeling of being completely just worthless… It starts out that way tho.. It usually is brought on by someone’s deeming comments or invisible looks your way.the way he pulls away from me like I’m not worthy of touching him!…. The feeling quickly turns to anger after the heartfelt cry.. Then your angry,beyond angry. How dare they treat you like your nothing a nobody and your feelings don’t matter!! Then your crying for a different reason, not understanding how that could happen to you. How you allowed it, why you keep dismissing and excusing the behavior. After the waves of emotions your thoughts try to go the rational approach. ” did I over react?, what to do now?”
I know I can’t speak for all women but I can speak for myself. Being a woman is so complicated. Just figuring out your mans wants and needs and how to make him understand what yours are. I’ve read so many articles on how to ” seduce” your man. In the end it’s a box with no key. They tell you get dressed up show him affection,but when your fixing dinner and the juice from your pan jumps up and hits what your wearing! Ugh.. Then he points that out but not that you put on that perfume for him today. What to do…… I’ve spent the last year figuring out that his way of showing love is being comfortable enough to pass gas in front of me. I am just in utter loneliness trying to find a way to get him to tell me the things I like to hear. He thinks I’m amazing, he wants only me for the rest of his life, he appreciates everything I attempt to do for him, that he loves me the way I am…… Just now as I am pouring all that out .. I am pondering…. Maybe he doesn’t……
So today is the beginning of the year. My son is home from his dads. Now I get to break the many habits he has from being their. I also get the joy of not being alone all the time anymore as well. My son is good company. He always has a funny story, new voice he’s been working on , or a warm ” I love you “, waiting for me. He is growing up so fast. Before summer started he wore a five and a half shoe size. Now he comes back and he’s wearing a seven and a half. Man, kids don’t come with a manual. I am all the time researching ,”how to make my little man respectful”. That will be one of my biggest accomplishments… For him to be happy , a good man, a good husband and a good father.
How can We women be so many things???? The vision of perfection in their minds, get everything done under and over expectations?? Why are the expectations so high? How can we be this perfect image….Barbie doll type figure ( heals, makeup, perfect blemish free skin) while having the lawn mowed, Windows dusted, house immaculate. is this even possible ???? #tiredwoman #needanswers